I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
