my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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