It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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