I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
