he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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