I must be too annoying 4 u.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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