This house was built for laser tag.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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