Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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