I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
