..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
