question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
