I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
