we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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