Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
