He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
