We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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