He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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