One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Found the puke drawer
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize