Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
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my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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