My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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