I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
