a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
