Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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