just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
