so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
