you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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