youre lurking in front of me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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