Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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