Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
