what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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