S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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