is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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