I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
