marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
