Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize