girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
