More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
false alarm, still single
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
