Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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