Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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