Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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