she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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