eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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