I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
