discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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