people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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