I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
