sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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