16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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