i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
