You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
