The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
