So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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