HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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