You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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