At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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