She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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