But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
