I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I will die if light touches me.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
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How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
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Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now